


Walkies

by dragonofdispair



Series: Unrelated Prompt Responses [41]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bodily Functions, POV First Person, Run-On Sentences, Stream of Consciousness, all because dog, gratuitous overuse of ALL CAPS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonofdispair/pseuds/dragonofdispair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone likes their walks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walkies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blarghnessrawr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blarghnessrawr/gifts).



> For the writing group challenge, someone said “write a series of actions through a space” and somehow I heard “write a three page stream of consciousness from the POV of a dog.” Technically a bit of Real-Person Fanfiction. I’m pretty sure the dog doesn’t care…
> 
> Beta’ed by FHC_Lynn and 12drakon

HI! 

I don’t know who you are, but I love you already! You’re PETTING MY EARS!

Want to scratch my belly? I will lay down  _ right here _ on the sidewalk and let you scratch my belly. Huh? What? “My feet look silly hanging out in the air”? Whatever. I don’t even know what that means.

Yesssss…. You’re a good person.

What? No!  _ Don’t stop! _ I didn’t mean to kick your hand but I just can’t help it! That felt soooooo good.

_ NoIdon’twannafinishthewalkIwannagetpetsfromtheNEWPERSON! _

Ow! Sorry. Yes, I know. “No jumping.” 

…Whatever that means.

Did I tell you we’re on my walk? I like walks. Especially days when I get to go all by myself. My persons say I’m a “pain in the butt dog, stop that or I will take your fuzzy butt to the pound I mean it”. I don’t know what that means, but I know it’s a term of affection because it means I get to go on my walks  _ all by myself! _

You’re coming back to the house with us? Yay! I’ll show you where it is!

Ow… -- stupid collar.

I like my leash -- it’s got sparkles! And leashes mean  _ outside _ and I like  _ outside _ but sometimes I forget it’s there and I…

What? Sorry. Squirrel. In the tree. What was I saying?

Right. Home is this way!

No I don’t want to finish going around the block! I want to show the NEW PERSON how to get home! No! I’m not going to pee in the ivy. I  _ know _ it’s my favorite spot to pee but there’s a NEW PERSON and I don’t want to pee!

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME PEE!

…

...ooooo! This tree smells good. I’ll pee here.

Stop staring at me! I CAN’T PEE WHEN YOU’RE STARING AT ME!

You  _ ruined _ it. Now I need to find a new place to pee.

Ooo! Squirrel! I can catch this one!

Ack! …Collar. Hate leashes… hmm hmm looking for a place to pee...

Wait!

No. We need to go back. Don’t you smell that? I NEED TO GO SNIFF THAT!

Sniff. Sniff. I smell horses and rubber and the candy bars that are melting in there -- which really, if you’re going to just forget about them I could totally eat them I like candy bars what are you saying “chocolate’s not good for doggies” I don’t know what that means but I’m sure it’s not a reason to let perfectly good candy bars melt when I could eat them and take them off your hands. Also there’s hay and sweaty leather and a two sets of clothes and her new seat covers which smell all fuzzy and that weird stuff Mommy adds to the air-blowing-thing that smells like chemicals and birds and... No! I’m not done sniffing. Don’t you roll your eyes at me!

Wait! What’s this?

SOME STRANGE DOG PEED ON MOMMY’S CAR!

**NO! This is not allowed!**

I’m going to pee right here!

No! You are not allowed to scoff at me! If a strange person had peed on your mommy’s car you’d pee there to get rid of it, too! No one is allowed to pee on Mommy’s car!

Are we going back to the house yet?

No. I don’t wanna go that way. Home is  _ this way! _ NEW PERSON won’t pet me again until we go home, and that mean we need to go  _ home. _ Which is  _ THIS WAY! _

Ow… I keep forgetting how strong you are.

What? Yay! You called me a “pain in the butt” again and I LOVE YOU TOO!

Oh! Hi jogger!

Stop pulling on me! I wanna go run with the jogger!

Okay fine. I guess I’ll go this way with you. Because I love you. And you have the leash. I like leashes. Mine’s all sparkly! Hmm hmm hmm hmm. What’s this? Are we at the corner already! I like this corner! It always smells so interesting…

BUT NOT AS INTERESTING AS THAT SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE GROUND!

What? “Leave it.” No! I want it! 

“Leave it.” But but but…

“Leave it.”

…Fine.

Oh look! MORE IVY! YAY! 

**OW!**

**THE IVY BIT ME!** I’m not going to play with it any more. Come on. Home is this way. Away from the mean biting ivy.

Ow ow ow ow… 

But I don’t  _ wanna _ stop. 

Stop it! This is embarrassing. I can walk! Leave my foot alone. I don’t have anything stuck in in between the pads. Stop it. Stooooopp iiiiiittt! Stop embarrassing me in front of the NEW PERSON!

Yeah. Sure. Fine. It is better walking without that acorn stuck in there but it was  _ still embarrassing. _

I’m gonna go sniff over here, next to this building.

I like this building. It kinda smells like my building. Just a bit. But I’m not really sure. There’s been lots and lots of people on this sidewalk and I can’t really tell if they’re my people or not except…  _ that’s my sister’s scent! _

NEW PERSON! 

MY SISTER PEED RIGHT HERE!

…No? What do you mean you don’t want to know that? It’s  _ important information. _ It means we’re almost around the block and home is… RIGHT HERE!

YAY! YOU’RE PETTING MY EARS! 

**_ILOVEYOUSOVERYMUCHYOUSHOULDCOMEWALKWITHMEEVERYDAY!_ **

Oh, look! Food!

…

…

...

What? Who are you and what are you doing in my house!


End file.
